Sunday Funnies

OK so not a post about "funny things that happened on Sunday" but more a post of funny things for you to read on a Sunday. Although you can't read it with your Sunday morning coffee because I'm about 12 hours late for that. Sorry.

Over the past few months that I've had lots of posts written in my head, but have realized that very few of them actually made it from my head to the computer. I could really use one of those fancy brain-to-computer gadgets. Can someone I know get working on that please? I'm happy to beta test. Anyway, here's some random funny stuff that's happened over the past few months, blogged for posterity. They're not in any real order - I've lost track.

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My Mom bought Lily a baby doll. I meant to write a whole post about it - but oh well. Lily loves baby - she's a part of the family now. Lily also loves getting "rides" from Gordon and I. We lie down on the floor, she sits on us, yells "ride ride" and then jumps on us until we puke. Ok well not really on the puking part. Anyway one day we had to give baby rides too. First Lily rides, then baby. Then Lily put baby on the ground and very very carefully lowered her bottom onto baby. Then started yelling "ride ride!" So much for this baby being sibling practice.

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Lily likes using her fork at mealtimes. Gordon decided that "stab" sounds too violent. So he made up the word "shunk" (rhymes with hunk and monk). Now when Lily has food on her plate she'll either shunk it or scoop it. Melons are definitely shunked, peas are scooped. She often talks about it as she does it "shunk melon, shunk pasta, etc". One night at dinner G and I were talking and we heard "shunk Lily, shunk Lily!" We looked over and there she is trying to stab her safety fork into her leg.

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[this one - not so funny to me)
At dinner we're eating pasta salad that has sausage, eggplant, cheese, peppers, olives in it. Lily picks out ALL the pasta and then asks for more pasta immediately. G and I tell her she needs to eat something else on her plate first. She refuses, we refuse the pasta - we reach a roadblock. Finally she shunks some sausage and puts it in her mouth. Feeling victorious, I scoop pasta on her plate and go back to my dinner. Then my Mom makes this funny noise and says "I'm not saying anything!". So I look over at Lily (she's next to me). She has pulled the sausage right back out of her mouth and is now hiding it under her plate as far away from me as possible. I KNOW she did it on purpose - being all sneaky-like. Any other discarded food ALWAYS finds its way onto my plate, into my hair, on my shirt, at the very least on the table between her plate and mine. Isn't she a bit young for willful deception?

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I'm making Lily breakfast one morning. She's in her clip-on chair at the counter, I'm making eggs or something and there's a waffle in the toaster oven. I sort of hear these popping-like sounds that could easily be someone intermittently dribbling a basketball outside. Then I hear Lily: "uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh". Sadly, I've learned to tune this out somewhat - because she says that a lot. Eventually I break out of my egg-frying induced trance and look over at the toaster oven. It's on fire. Literally, like with flames and all. I look at Lily - she's pointing directly at it and looking at me like "uh hello? what are you going to do about THAT?".

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Tonight, at bedtime she wanted to read Five Ugly Monsters - a take-off on the ditty about the monkeys. So she got in her crib with the book and before we even start reading she's wagging her finger at the stuffed animals that sleep with her (all 30 of them) saying "No more monsters jumping on the bed!" It was both funny to see her scolding her stuffed animals and notable as it's her first complete sentence. Although I'm willing to bet that not everyone would have been able to understand it as clearly as G and I could.

As we were going through the story she decided to let her stuffed animals join the fun:
Us: "5 ugly monsters jumping on the bed"
Lily: picks up kangaroo and holds him expectantly
Us: "One fell off and bumped his head"
Lily: *SLAM* kangaroo hits the deck, head first
Us: "Called for the doctor and the doctor said..."
Lily: (wagging her finger at kangaroo) "No more monsters jumping on the bed!"